The Donkey Is Sleeping Today

Beck U 8 And 9: I Done Gradiated!

In Idiocracy, Politics, Propaganda on September 9, 2010 at 12:39 pm

The Government's Throwing An Inflation Party!

David Buckner’s final lesson was a party! An inflation party! With the government as host and taxpayers as guests. You see, the government has run up huge debt, and it can’t possibly pay it back – ever. And the federal government has only balanced its budget four times in the last 20 years.

Of course, those were the last four Clinton budgets, but let’s not get into the details. In fact, there were no sources or attribution to the numbers Buckner was tossing out, but I’m expecting too much. Okay, so here’s my attribution about Clinton budgets:

So according to Buckner, the government is secretly conspiring to dump a ton of currency into the system and drive inflation through the roof so that the debt is worth less and they can pay it down quicker.

No seriously.  The Great Inflation Scam.  Wait for it.  It’s coming.  Any day now.

Sure, the Fed has kept a low inflation target for the past couple of decades, but we’re not talking the Weimar Republic here. But I’ve read that many leading economist believe the real fear is the exact opposite… deflation.

Buckner also defended his right to cheap Big Macs (See Beck U 5: Blame Canada) when he once again railed against the evils of the minimum wage. He scoffed at the sheer ridiculousness of raising the minimum wage and then erecting a wall along our border to keep out all the illegals who flood across in order to secure those jobs.

Boy, I’ll say. Nothing pisses me off more than seeing undocumented workers insist on getting paid the federally mandated minimum wage and then filling out document after document that lets the United States government know they’re here illegally.

But Buckner had the perfect solution. Abolish the minimum wage, and let the market determine what employees can earn.

Brilliant! If we pay our workers less, then those dirty hordes won’t cross the border and steal all those high-paying jobs here in the United States. As Buckner put it:

Why would people from other countries come to the United States if they make the same as in their own country?

Amen, brother! Or we could just continue to ship all our jobs overseas so there are none left to steal.

Hey, Buckner did say that his Key Principle #4 was that we were all given permission to think.

So, here’s something to think about: your real market at work (via Health News):

The nation’s official poverty rate hit an eleven-year high, rising from 37.3 million, or 12.5 percent, in 2007 to 39.8 million, or 13.2 percent, in 2008, including more than 14 million children. That means more than one of every eight Americans fall below the poverty line…

But those are the lazy, good-for-nothing leeches in this country who simply want to live off of other people’s tax dollars. You know, like the folks on Wall Street. But the market has created a growing class of working poor.  From an article at

In late July the Bureau [of Labor] put out a little-noticed periodic report detailing which private industries employ the most workers and what those workers earn.


Here’s the reality: it’s called retail sales and it pays an $11.84-per-hour average wage.

That’s right folks. More than four million people (or 3.86 percent of all private industry employees in the United States) work as retail salespeople. That’s more than any other single private-industry occupation in the United States. And on average, retail salespeople earn just under $25,000 a year.

Retail sales workers are followed closely by cashiers. That’s the kind of work that about 3.4 million Americans do. For it, they earn an average of nearly $19,000 a year.

See the pattern here?

The private industries employing the largest share of the American workforce don’t pay very much.

Now, brace yourself for the worst of it. It’s not until you get six occupations down the list to customer service agents that average annual wages top $30,000.

But don’t worry about that. Those workers can always buy their goods and services on their credit cards, or maybe even take out a second mortgage on their homes, or even re-fi, right?

Hmmm… Maybe there’s a reason David Buckner teaches education theory and not economics.

Bobo the Clown's New Serious Look

Beck changed his shirt! Perhaps the flop sweat from his “Party on the Mall” rendered his sharp Ralph Lauren polo dirty. Or maybe he simply wanted a new look. But also wearing his very serious glasses, he announced in the preamble to the final “lesson” that he and his staff were wiped out after all the festivities in Washington D.C. and that they were all going to take a nap.

And then he asked us all to put our heads on our desks and listen to the final “lesson,” which was a rambling, incoherent lecture by James Stoner on natural rights and common law.  Of course, like all good rights, they were really only intended to be vested in the states until the bullying federal government came around and stole them for their own.

And Stoner is a big one on common law because he seems to think that it’s all dependent on precedent and what the community thinks and no judicial review or activist judges and all that. Perhaps I’m missing his point, but his ramblings were entirely unclear.

But like clockwork, the horns popped out and the mask slipped about two-thirds of the way into the lecture when he railed against progressives and how they’ve soiled this great nation of ours with their do-gooder nature and their insistence on individual rights and their criticism of natural rights and civil rights.

Say what? Progressives are critical of civil rights?  Let’s parse this out.  There is a dangerous and felonious meme being developed by Glenn Beck and his cronies that it was actually the Republicans and the conservatives who helped bring civil rights to this nation in the mid-20th Century.

Beck claims that progressives and liberals have co-opted the civil rights movement from the true heroes – conservatives.  You know, the conservatives that called Martin Luther King a communist and worse and who tried to block a federal holiday in his name.  The conservatives who tried repeatedly to block important civil rights legislation in the 1940s, 50s, and 60s.  The conservatives who used racial code words in order to appeal to white voters in the South (and elsewhere) in order to win elections – the so-called Southern Strategy.

The very same conservatives who railed against judicial activism and screamed for state’s rights in order to preserve the status quo – Jim Crow laws, anti-miscegenation laws, anti-voting rights laws, et al.

In fact, Stoner takes a swipe at the Brown v. Board of Education decision by saying that progressives forced the notion on the country that “rights had to be created equally” and by the mistaken belief that “if the government provides funding, then the funding must be provided equally.”

Of course, this comes from a man who is a theocrat at heart and who advocates for a Constitutional amendment to allow school prayer, who rails against a woman’s right to choose, and who is deeply upset that the Supreme Court allowed non-married couples to use contraceptives (See Beck U. 3: It’s Not A Tumor), among other right-wing views.

Stoner ended by saying that it was “the people’s Constitution,” but let us hope that people like Stoner never get their hands on it.

Oh, right, one more thing. The newly coiffed Beck also announced that he would be bilking offering his subscribers more “lessons” starting in October.  But someone else is going to have to take one for the team.  I have turned in my last term paper and hit the beach.

I done gradiated with my Moronis Asinines.


Read the rest of the Beck U. series: Beck U, Beck U2, Beck U3, Beck U 4, Beck U 5, and Beck U 6 & 7.

  1. I cannot believe you are not swamped by laudatory responses. Your skewering of Beck’s insane “university” course in American history and civics is perfect. It’s appalling that the History News Network and other mainstream academic history groups haven’t jumped all over Beck.

  2. Wow this is a great resource.. I’m enjoying it.. good article

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