The Donkey Is Sleeping Today

M.V.P. (Most Valuable Prop)

In Politics on September 2, 2010 at 4:17 pm

What Would Albert Do?

With the 2010 baseball season heading down the home stretch sportswriters and fans are arguing about who the M.V.P. of the league is. In the National League there are two players fighting it out for both the Central Division crown and M.V.P. honors: the Cincinnati Reds’ Joey Votto and the St. Louis Cardinals’ Albert Pujols.

On Saturday, we at TheDonkeyEdge figured out who won the coveted award and are excited to break the news. The M.V.P. of not just the National League but all of baseball for 2010 is… Albert Pujols.

And by M.V.P. I of course mean Most Valuable Prop.

Pujols clinched the trophy with his appearance as a trophy for Glenn Beck Saturday at the “Restoring Honor” rally at the Lincoln Memorial.

For those of you who aren’t baseball fans let me catch you up on who Albert Pujols is. He’s the greatest baseball player of our generation. He’s Babe Ruth. He’s Mickey Mantle. Hell, if he were white, people would actually know his name.

Pujols is Latino which from Glenn Beck’s perspective made him an even more valuable prop to trot out to his angry white masses. He’s a real American success story — imported from the Dominican Republic.

I can only imagine the back-room brainstorm from the manager of Team Crazy: “We need a real American. A real old-time hero. A baseball player! That’s it. Who’s the best player in baseball? Oh, he’s a latin sounding-looking guy? That means he’s brown! It makes us look multi-cultural! And he’s a bible-thumper that plays in America’s heartland? Let’s give this man an award so he has to show up!”

And that is how something like this comes to pass:

Typically Pujols would be a tough “get” but the slugger’s coach, Tony La Russa, was aboard the Beck bandwagon a while back because he is simply an ass hole. LaRussa converted the unassisted triple play of ass hole-ishness by vocally backing SB 1070, speaking at “The Beckoning” himself and convincing baseball’s best player to demean his intelligence, soil his reputation, and sell his soul to the man who has already sold his soul to Goldline.

But LaRussa said their appearance wasn’t political:

“I made it clear when we were approached: I said, ‘If it’s political, I wouldn’t even approach Albert with it.’ I don’t want to be there if it’s political.”

LaRussa actually tried to convince himself us of that. It’s not political. It’s only a Glenn Beck rally at the Lincoln Memorial. What could possibly be political about that? Does this man live in a mayonnaise jar?

Pujols and LaRussa are not the first to embarrass America’s pastime, there have been some other real winners in baseball history. In fact Roger Clemens was indicted last week on charges of lying to Congress about his steroid use. But my favorite – it’s an oldie but a goodie — is Marge Schott (former owner of the Reds) who had an awesome Nazi armband which she, naturally, showed off to guests to her home accompanied by a littany of asides about Hitler being “good in the beginning”, the “sneaky goddamn Jews” being “all alike” and her “million dollar niggers”. She did this a few too many times and was summarily drummed out of baseball.

But Albert Pujols did something unique. He lent his credibility to an active right-wing political propaganda rally held by the ultimate huckster at the same spot 47 years to the day that MLK gave his “I Have a Dream” speech. A rally that Glenn Beck created to “reclaim the civil rights movement” — whatever that could possibly mean.

Let me explain it to Albert in a way that a ball player can understand: the Glenn Beck rally was a blistering fastball aimed squarely at your head which you didn’t duck in time and now half of your fan base has a concussion.

Your career should be called on account of stupidity.

What you have done to your legacy may not appear to be worse than what pine tar, steroids or perjuring yourself in front of congress have done to other great players. But your action, like theirs, was an act of selfish stupidity which in the end hurts the game we all love by making you (and baseball) an object of ridicule and scorn.

I’m just happy it’s football season.

– SH

  1. As this appears to be a frustrated socialist blog ,i wonder what i am doing here ,because i am not a frustrated socialist.I was invited to the party and you were not,and now you whine,piss,and moan about it.Is it so hard to believe that a brown man might be a conservative,just might be aware of all the hard work he has put in to attain his position in life,and stands for conservative values?Like i have earned mine, now you go out and earn yours …you know …the NO FREE LUNCH kind of folks that are proud of their efforts and will gladly show you the way ,but will not legislate you into their world.He is a brown man ,damn him for going to the other side right?Brown folks should all be democrats right??,as we have such low expectations of them and they need a helping hand to make the step up,so join the democratic party for fun and relaxation…Just my simple perspective of your well written but off the mark commentary above Mr SH.

    GUT PILE

  2. As an after thought,i would imagine you are seething in anger when you witness a person of color in the republican parade ….They are all no good turncoats right?Some stiff white collared bizz man has put them up to it ,for they are not capable of making the decision to acceptand step up to capitalism on their own …How pathetic …low expectations of another race/color!

  3. “FOR CAPITALISM”

    GUT PILE

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